It always seems to creep up on me, as I've mentioned before; this thing called anxiety. It also tends to creep in at night when I sit down in the stillness of just the humming of my computer and when I look at the screen with a bunch of information I am trying to memorize for a test. I hate tests, especially this one. I have been doing well not worrying until last night and tonight. I literally didn't sleep last night, I felt ill, and now am feeling it again. I hate what this thing called anxiety does to me physically. I try to take deep breaths, I repeat over and over that God has this, but unfortunately I don't really believe it, if I did, I wouldn't be sick with worry, literally.
Tonight, I looked out Hadley's window as I was putting her to bed and I saw that we had finally gotten some snow, and it was beautiful. There is just something about snow at night time. It just lightens up the night where you do not need any other type of light. It is so peaceful, I am thankful for this glimpse of peace through the window. If I didn't have all of this studying to do (and if I were okay with not staying warm in my PJ's) I'd go on a walk, perhaps tomorrow. I am thankful that in the midst of my anxiousness God showed up with just me looking out the window. Now if I could just breathe, pray, and let go....God is still good and He is in control.
I Peter 5:7 Cast all of your anxieties on Him because He cares for you.
What I am saying to myself to make it more real, " Casting ALL of MY anxiety on You God because You care for ME!"
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