Hide and Seek

Thankful for hide and seek with my kiddos tonight. Thankful for their laughs. 

Day 188...Sleep

This has been a hot topic of thankfulness for me lately.  I just can't shake this horrible exhaustion I've had lately. I am thankful that it is time for sleep. Today has been exhausting, a bit over whelming, and just a hard day.  Thankful this day is over and excited to lay my head down to sleep.

Thankful for the Missing Pieces..Day 187

Ever since Landry was first diagnosed with his first time having RSV at just a few months old, he has really never been completely "healthy".  He has been a mystery among many doctors, of course with Josh and I, and other helpful friends and family.  If you have been following my blog at all, you would have read that Landry is sick more then he is well.  Last year at this time after seeing a specialist, he was diagnosed with asthma, which after being on an inhaler every day it has helped.  This past winter after having a bad cold and an ear infection, he had that cough again, and it was back to the drawing board of what is going on with him.  After I researched a lot, I thought it has to be some kind of food allergy, dairy or gluten - which I wrote about, and after being off of dairy for about 3 wks, the cough is in fact gone.  However, I have noticed on occasion that he would break out in red blotches around his mouth after he would eat, but I was never able to pin point exactly what it would be.  About a month ago at his sitters, he had a peanut butter sandwich and just like any 3 yr. old, he wears half of what he eats.  When I picked him up hours later, his cheeks and chin were broke out in bright red blotches and they were like that for over 24 hrs.  The babysitter and I thought that it could be the peanut butter, but it had also been extremely cold and he has eczema so we weren't sure.  I haven't given him peanut butter since, but today at her house they made bird feeders out of peanut butter, he didn't eat any, but spread it all over his face, and again, his face was like it was a few weeks ago.  Scary to think he is allergic, but thankful we noticed before it could turn into an emergency stop breathing type of allergy.  Pieces of the puzzle are coming together with Landry, which I am hoping that it makes a big difference in his over all respiratory health.  Having this happen today reminded me of our favorite local BBQ place that he sometimes breaks out around his mouth at, and they cook their fries in peanut oil, he doesn't have them often, but Hadley and I do, and if he just touches it, oil on the tables, etc. could affect him.  This saddens me, because this has become a favorite family tradition, not sure if he will be able to go in there now.  I also know this adds more challenges of now adding peanut allergy to a milk allergy, but it could always be worse. God is giving me the pieces to this crazy long puzzle and for that I am thankful! God is good!

Experiencing A Little Peace...Day 186

I am so thankful that I have been able to experience glimpses of peace today.  I felt like I could breathe and enjoy my day.  There really isn't no explanation except for God and prayer. I have had my awesome friends and my small group from church praying, and I can tell.  I really want to figure out how to kick this awful habit of fear and anxiety.  Tonight, I am thankful for the power of prayer. I am thankful for my devoted friends, husband, and my small group for praying for me these past few weeks.  God is good!

I had an unexpected snow day and I was able to capture one of my favorite poses that Landry does when he takes his nap. 

Day 185...Thankfulness

It is late and I am exhausted, so I will just list what I am thankful for today:
1. Seeing family from Colorado and Columbus after school
2. Watching my sweet son fall asleep in the car on the way home
3. Hearing the "smile" in Hadley's voice when I got home from work today
4. Landry saying as he was crying and refusing to go to sleep "lay with you" and putting his arm around my neck
5. My sweet big dog Jake, cuddling in bed with me as I type this
6. Praying with our marriage group tonight - praying for others and others praying for you will truly encourage a person
7. Laying with my daughter, listening to her plan her birthday party which isn't until June :), praying with her before she went to sleep
8. I can finally get in bed after being gone since 6:15 this morning
God is good!

Dance Party...Day 184

I love that this day has seemed like a long day, those are the best when it's the weekend.  I love that the whole day was spent together as a family.  Despite my little guy coming in our bed at 6:30 when we didn't have to be up for awhile, I love that he comes in and snuggles with us.  I love that we went to church together, had lunch with dear friends.  I love that this afternoon I could hear my daughter and husband talking over their serious game of Mine craft.  My most favorite part of the day was at dinner time.  We were all in the kitchen preparing dinner and Josh had his music on.  He and I started to dance which made the kids laugh, (probably because my husband had a cousin Eddy hat and he dances like those dancing Santa dolls at the store :))  The kids then joined in and it was so fun and we all were laughing, care free, dancing. These are the moments that make memories.  Our day didn't end with the dance party, it ended at bedtime when Landry crawled on my lap and Hadley being her normal funny self.  I was teaching Landry his address and his birthday when Hadley started to answer with funny words which then Landry would repeat and do his awesome deep belly laugh.  We were all laughing so hard those next 15 min. Loved this day. Love making memories with my family. God is good!

Sweet pictures of Landry giving "lovins" to his daddy at Hadley's game yesterday

Score- A Basket and A Date Night- Day 183

Today was a glorious day! I slept in, the sun was shining, and the weather was warm enough where I didn't need a coat!

My daughter had a basketball game today and she made a basket! It was awesome! The whole crowd cheered and the best part was that my girl felt like a million bucks! She hasn't made a basket all season which isn't a big deal, she's in 2nd grade, first year playing, and they only practice one night per week. She's actually strong in defense, but had made a goal to make a basket by the end of the season. Today she accomplished her goal with it being her next to last game! It was simply awesome to watch!

My hubby and I also had a much needed date night! Love spending time with my man, love having a nice warm dinner with no interruptions. We also stumbled upon a free music show which was very good.  So thankful for this life and the people I get to share it with!  God is good!

My extremely happy girl after making her basket today!

Enjoying this beautiful day

Enjoying the music on our date!

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star...Day 182

As I was walking our puppy tonight I happened to look up at they sky. And it was beautiful! The stars were so clear and the stars were twinkling.  It has been awhile since I've been outside long enough to notice the sky and the stars.  God's creation is something magnificent.  I'm thankful we can enjoy it!

Thankful Tomorrow is Friday...Day 181

This has been a long week.  Exhaustion has taken over and I am so thankful for some rest this weekend.  Thankful for this wonderful warm sunny weather we had today! Thankful for sleep, much needed sleep!

Sometimes You Just Have to Say Forget the Laundry and Get Down on the Floor - Day 180

One of the things I need to be better at is forgetting about the housework and get on the floor and play. We sort of have a routine when we are home at night that after dinner, Josh plays with the kids while I clean up, pack lunches, do the laundry, and get ready for the next day.  Tonight Josh had to go back to work and I was folding laundry, little man came in looking for daddy and was so sad that I decided that the laundry could wait.  My little man needed me to play and I wanted to play. I told him mommy would come play and his big crocodile tears turned into pure joy, his face it up!  "Yay, mommy come play with me - come mommy!" He held out his hand to take me into the playroom. We played with our puppy, we pretended to sleep and wake up, we tickled, we sang, and most of all we laughed! That was so much more fun then folding laundry. :)  Thankful for my little guy. Thankful for the reminder that you just have to say forget it and get down on the floor with your kids.

Day 179...Thankful for Bedtime

Today was one of those days where bedtime for my precious kiddos couldn't come soon enough. This may seem harsh to some, but really, it's not. I think for both parents sanity and the well being of our children in needing much needed rest, an early bedtime is a necessity. I was exhausted already from today and the craziness of my kiddos running around, playing, screaming, fighting, laughing, you name it, they were doing it. :) I am thankful for their energy, but sometimes they just need sleep. I am thankful for some down time after the kids went to bed.  Thankful to get some sleep.

Our Family Valentine's Dinner..Day 178 of Thankfulness

In the past since I stayed home with my kiddos, on Valentine's Day I would make them heart shaped chocolate chip pancakes for their breakfast.  Now that I leave for work at 6:15 and Valentine's was on a weekday, we made it into a dinner, which is a few days late due to our crazy schedules.  I had set the table, lit candles, excited to have a nice meal, but then of course just because you have something planned, doesn't mean your kids will follow suit.  One kid was sent to their room, the other took the silverware that I had set the table with and begin using them as drum sticks, etc. you know the drill, it was anything but the "quiet" family candlelight dinner. :)  I didn't let it ruin our evening, in fact, Josh and I just sord of laughed and proceeded.  Our dinner ended up being nice, fun, and some what relaxing.  I am thankful we had this night and thankful we started a new tradition as a family.  Another new tradition we started was that instead of giving each other a little valentine gift, we chose an act of kindness that we will do for each family member, even the dogs per request of Hadley. :)
I loved to hear Hadley's thinking and why she chose her acts of kindess for each member, in fact, they are pretty tough ones for a 7 yr. old to accomplish.  I am proud of her.  Thankful for making tonight a special memory.

No she isn't drinking wine, cherry juice in a wine glass :)

Landry taking it all in while scarfing down his new homemade dairy free blueberry pancakes!

Day 177..Thankful That He Isn't Uncomfortable With My Mess, My Doubt, My Fear, and My Anxiety

It seems as if the sermons at our church have been written and spoken directly at me lately.  The new series is Doubt, something that I never felt like I struggled with until recently.  Growing up there was a "stigma" that if you struggled with doubting God, who He was, who He is, then you were looked down upon as if you weren't a true believer.  Having doubts about what God is doing in your life, why He isn't answering "your" prayers, why it seems He is letting you drown in your fears, etc. is a scary place to be.  I think mostly because of that lie that you really aren't a believer or that something is wrong with you if you doubt.  That little voice telling you that you have just got to believe, how dare you question who God is or what He is doing. Lately, I have been believing that lie.  I have been doubting what the heck God is up to with this stupid test I need to pass, after many attempts, hours, days, and months of studying.  The stress it has placed on me, making me physically ill, the toll on my family; why would God not help me pass it?  What I hear today, a bible story I have heard time and time again, Peter. (Matthew 14) Peter doubted Jesus when he walked on water, he took a few steps toward Jesus, then became afraid, started to sink, and he cried out, "Lord, save me." Jesus did.
I am a lot like Peter, take a few steps, trust in God, especially when things are going "well" but when life gets tough, like this test, I doubt, I sink, and I let fear and anxiety take over.  What I should be doing is calling out, "Lord, save me."  However, that isn't all. I have cried that out many times, expecting a quick answer, a big neon sign, God doesn't always work that way and there is a reason.  I may not know why, but God does. A few things I heard today have really resonated in my heart and mind.
God is not uncomfortable with my mess, my fears, my anxiety.
He is not going to let me drown in it.
Sometimes He lets us be in it for a long time - I'll come out stronger in the end.
God gives me everything I need to trust Him, but not more than I need.
I need to stay in conversation with Him, during the mess, during the doubt.  I need to pray more and wait longer.
God can do amazing things with my doubt.

Wow - a lot of stuff to comprehend.  I am so glad I heard these words today.  I am so glad that despite me being uncomfortable with my mess, my doubt, my fears, and my anxiety, He is not.  He has it under control, He knows why I am struggling.  I need to keep seeking, keep trusting, keep praying.

We ended with an awesome song today at church - Where Feet May Fail
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neZkRT35J40
You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
[x6]

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

Day 177..Retail Therapy and A Snow Moon

Today was a long mentally exhausting day.  I, however, am thankful that my long day ended in Columbus where there is endless shopping and great food.  I am thankful for those few hours of retail therapy, meandering through my favorite store; Target, all by myself, no schedule, just me and some left over gift cards from Christmas!  I am thankful for awesome food, eating in my car, listening to my music, no interruptions.  Thankful for grocery shopping at Trader Joes, looking at all the food, feeling joyful to be looking for dairy free food for Landry.  That may sound weird, but I am joyful about that because since taking him off dairy nearly 2 wks ago, he is sounding and feeling much better! Whoo hoo!!  The view on my drive home was absolutely beautiful. Now that there are several inches of white snow on the ground, and tonight was a "Snow" Moon as the Columbus meteorologists called it, the drive was stunning.   There is a new highway that was built in the middle of a national forest from here to Columbus, so with this snow and the moon it almost seemed like it was daylight.  If I weren't driving and had my better camera, I would have loved to have captured the beautification of this night.  Driving, listening to my music, the scenery; provided such a peace and gratefulness for all that God has blessed me with.

Surprise!..Day 176

Usually Josh and I do not celebrate Valentine's Day, or if we do, it's something simple.  For instance, I wrote a little note, taped it to his favorite muffins for breakfast today.  However, he went above and beyond and sent me roses to school today! Incredibly sweet, thoughtful, and loving.  I am thankful for my sweet love, thankful that he thought of me today.

Singing...Day 175

Tonight was Hadley's music and art program. I absolutely love to watch her sing. She loves to sing, and in fact she has a pretty good voice! I love to watch her facial expressions, how she tries to secretly look around at her peers around her to see how they sing, and my most favorite is how she constantly looks over to our direction to see if we are watching her.  Precious.  I am thankful that she loves to sing.  Thankful she is able to sing, that she has her hearing, her eyesight, her voice; we take these blessings for granted.

Day 174- Removed

While my heart literally aches for a special child, I am so grateful that they are no longer being mistreated, unloved, and physically, emotionally, hurt.  I am thankful they are surrounded by people who will hopefully love this child.  People in this world can be so incredibly cruel; thankful for the ones that step up and choose to love instead of hate. Thankful that God puts people in my life for a reason.

Waiting Up for Mommy...Day 173

"I've been waiting up all of this time to hug you mommy!" said my tired little girl tonight. I had been gone studying most of the evening and Hadley had missed me, she had waited until I got home which was past her bedtime.  Hearing those words when I went in to kiss her goodnight, were as sweet as honey.  I am thankful she waited up for me, thankful that we spent the next half hour talking, really talking about mature things, asking questions about church, baptism, communion, and being kind to others.  I was surprised her and I both were awake enough to discuss such things after 9:30pm.  I am thankful that even though it is nearly 11pm, she came back in to tell me she can't get to sleep, only to secretly sneak in another hug.  Sometimes God knows just when you need that extra hug and encouragement that you are indeed loved.  He is good!

Special Talks and Hugs in the Ladies Room- Day 172

Today has just been one of those blah days.  It first started when I was rushed getting to school even though we were on a delay, it messes up the "normal" morning routine.  I was putting my lunch together and was thinking about how yummy my lunch would be today since I had left over mac n cheese from our favorite BBQ place - Kisers. Last night I took it out of the refrigerator to put into a glass bowl so I could heat it up at school, well instead of putting it back into the refrigerator, I put it in my lunch box - it sat there over night! :( I was not happy that I had to throw it out - then the rest of the day was just sort of blah.  This is a big week as I am studying like crazy, but it is also the busiest weeks with something every.single.night!  I haven't been feeling all that great, I'm stressed, worried, and yes as always- anxious.  Tonight when I got home, which I stayed later after school so I could be prepared and ready for this week, it made it a bit rushed as we had a basketball game for Hadley.  I quickly made dinner, all the while trying to unload the dishwasher, nudge Hadley to clean up her crafts from the table so we could eat, get her to get ready for the game, feed/water the dogs, etc. etc.  I was grumpy, short, and Hadley was grumpy, not moving as fast as I'd hoped, and then it was just a blah rushed dinner, running around, yelling to get going, - I wanted a do-over. I wanted to just forget the rest of the night and go to bed.  On our way to the game, poor Hadley was upset because she was getting into trouble with talking back, and she had had enough too.  I couldn't blame her, it was a crappy evening so far.    We were all silent on the way to the game, I was thinking in my head all the things I wish I hadn't said or yelled, why we rush so much, all for a basketball game - feelings were hurt, real people, and we let a game trump the importance of people, our family.  Once we arrived at the game, Hadley and I went to the bathroom so she could change into shorts, I got down on my knees, I looked her in the eyes, and said I was sorry for our crazy night, I was sorry for being grumpy, and I love you.  She hugged me tight, told me she was sorry too and she loved me.  These are the moments I treasure, and hold onto, since they are reminders of how important people are, and it is in those moments of the mundane, everyday life that are the most important.  I am thankful that Hadley forgives me when I screw up as a parent.  I am thankful that we can have our special talks, forgive, and hug and love on each other.  I am thankful for our talks and hugs in the ladies restroom.

Day 171 - Banana Bread and a Shoveled Driveway

Random acts of kindness are one of my love languages (for those of you not familiar with this term, there is a great book The Five Love Languages and it talks about finding your love language and other important people in your life).  There is just something so special when someone does something nice for you for no reason at all.  You did not ask for it, the person committing the act of kindness did not ask or tell you they were going to do it, they just do it! We came home from church today and found that our driveway had been shoveled.  We had about 3 in. of snow come down while we were gone and what a nice treat to come home to!  We are not 100% sure of who did this, I thought for sure it was our next door neighbors but they claimed they didn't.  I heard maybe some kids down the road did this - so if you are reading this and you cleared our driveway - THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!
Banana Bread - I absolutely love this stuff and especially when our next door neighbor makes it - so delicious!  She made it without asking, and  just sent her daughter over to deliver it, this happens quite often, and I am so thankful for this act of kindness.  Our neighbors seriously are some of the most thoughtful and most kind people we know! We are so blessed to have great neighbors all around us actually!
I love doing random acts of kindness to others as well, simply because I know how much it means to me when they happen. I know how much it means especially if there are not so good things going on in your life, and when someone stops to think about you and do something nice, just because, it can truly make your day and bring some joy into your life.  I know I can be better at this, more intentional in being kind to others, I hope to be stronger in this area, and that my children will also.
Thankful for our driveway being cleared and thankful for some delicious banana bread!  God is good!
I forgot to mention, I am so thankful my dad came for the weekend, always good to spend time with family!

Time Spent With Our Dads- Day 170

Today was a day well spent! My dad and Josh's dad happened to visit the same weekend and so we spent the day with our dads. We had lunch, went to the OU basketball game, went to dinner, and just had a great day. I am so thankful to have this time with my dad, thankful to see my kids get excited to see their grandpa. A well spent Saturday!

Thankfulness - Day 169

The things I am thankful for today:
1. Going back to school - missed teaching due to the snow days, missed my students, missed our "routine"
2. Hearing my girl talk and talk and talk about her favorite game - Mindcraft
3. Having my girl join me in bed to watch House Hunters and to talk about writing a book together - seriously how awesome and it makes this English teachin' momma proud
4. My son not wanting me to go when I went to work today, it breaks my heart and makes me joyful at the same time
5. My sons reaction when I picked him up today - squealed with excitement and told me all about his day
6. Getting our 1/4 of a cow - absolutely love having fresh beef in our freezer and not the crap you get in the store
7. Warm glazed donut and hot chocolate before going to sleep tonight and brought to me from my awesoome hubby
8. Clean, warm sheets
9. My healthy kids - yes we have on-going issues with Landry but after a little boy losing his life to cancer this week, puts things into perspective
10.  That I get to see my dad tomorrow, hang out, enjoy a basketball game, good food, and catching up on life
God is good!

Day 168... Wheel of Fortune Video Game

I am thankful for the one on one time I had with my girl playing on the PS3. I'm not a big gamer, but Hadley takes after her daddy and loves to play them. However, I love Wheel of Fortune, so we played together today and even though it was only one game, I am thankful we had this time.  She literally just lights up when we can have our alone time, and I treasure those moments too. 

As The French Kiss - Day 167

My sweet little guy has started this thing where he kisses like you see French people kiss.  He kisses your cheek and lips, from side to side with hugs thrown in between each kiss.  It is so funny and he will do this about twenty times! I absolutely love it and relish in the fact I receive probably close to one hundred kisses a day. Landry kisses me when he wakes up, before going to take a nap, after a nap, just because, and before bed which he will have these "kissing" sessions about 4-5 times. I am thankful that he is so loving ( I may rethink this when he has his first girlfriend lol) and I am thankful that his face just gleams with joy when he is kissing and hugging.  His phrase before he goes in for the kiss is "Hug, kiss, hug, kiss, - love you mommy!" Melts my heart! I really am clinging onto this because I know one day it will be uncool to kiss me, at least this many times, as Hadley has recently reached this stage, sadly.  It is so true, our babies grow up way too fast.  I am thankful for the extra, extra, kisses and hugs from my boy. I am thankful that Hadley will randomly out of nowhere come to me and talk my ear off.  I am thankful to be a momma to these two sweet and precious kiddos!

One of my favorite first pictures of my sweet kiddos together

Day 166 - Finding the Glimpses of Joy in an Overwhelming Day

Today was just - overwhelming. I absolutely despise the days where I leave in the morning for work and then not come home until late in the evening. I feel completely out of sorts, exhausted, and just absolutely frazzled, especially when I have work to do for school the next day.  We are back on that daunting road of trying to figure out what exactly is up with Landry boy - the dreaded on going cough and congestion.  I took him the the pediatrician since his cough since December has not gone away, not even with his inhalers, antibiotics, nothing.  After researching on my own, I came across some links of gluten/wheat, and dairy allergies and their sensitivities.  I discussed this with his pediatrician today and she completely agreed that he has to have some type of allergy/sensitivity.  While nothing showed up on last years allergy testing the two things he was not tested for was wheat and dairy.  Since just sensitivity to these two will probably not show up on a blood test, we both agreed to just try the elimination for a few weeks to see if he gets better.  So, I am very grateful that I didn't have to put Landry through a blood test! I am thankful that is money saved for us!
Now for the next 2 weeks, Landry is completely on a dairy free diet - Yikes! I was in Kroger's for close to 2 hours reading labels, finding non-dairy cheese, and just figuring out what I will cook for him.  I am on a complete mission as I have been since my little dude has been born, to find out what is going on with him.  My mom gut tells me he's sensitive to some type of food allergy, and I have a feeling it is gluten, we shall see.  So after 2 wks of the dairy if we notice a change - great, if not, it will be a gluten free Lynch household.  I didn't expect to feel so overwhelmed and a little sad when I left the Dr.s  I mean, I am grateful I took him in and found out the ped and I both share the same values when it comes to treating him without a bunch of medication.  I am thankful that we are on another road that will hopefully bring relief to my sweet son.

I am feeling stressed and overwhelmed after this long, long day, but I am thankful that I am now in my own bed and will be sleeping soon. In the midst of this chaotic day, one of my most favorite author's was at our local library.  I missed the brief 10 min interview questions, but I was able to meet her, have her sign my book, and get my picture with her -Jodi Picoult.  That was pretty cool!

I know that in the midst of this stress, God is with me!

Fantabulous author - Jodi Picoult

Day 165 - Snow Day and Small Group Thankfulness

What a beautiful beautiful snow fall we had! This has been the biggest snow of 8 inches since we moved to Athens 6 yrs ago, and it was so fun to be in it today! It is fun to hear the kids laughing and screaming as they sled down the hills, the crying of the little ones just because, and to see the smiles as they build and dress the snowmen.  I am thankful for this day of fun with my kids, neighbors, and friends! I am also thankful for the workout of shoveling our driveway!
Another thing that I am so grateful for today is our new marriage small group we joined at our church! I think it is incredibly neat how God places certain people in a group for a reason.  Any time you join a new place where community is a big part, whether it is a church, job, sports, etc., feeling connected is huge and it takes time and it is scary! I am so thankful that we have found that "connection" at our church and incredibly excited to see how our new friendships develop.  Who would've thought that the coffee shop that I call my second home, the owners are our group leaders? Very cool! Also, a couple we met last Spring at an open house, are the house hosts for our group?  I am so thankful for these people, thankful that we are doing this life thing called "marriage" together, praying for each other, laughing, sipping coffee, and simply being a community.  Feeling so blessed and thankful tonight.

He decided to dump his yogurt on his head - all you cold do is laugh and give this kid a bath

Sweet Hadley girl

Enough - My Kids Need Their Mom..Day 164

Tonight I decided that instead of rushing my kids to get to bed and not enjoying the usual crazy bedtime routine (it always seems the kiddos get another burst of energy), that I was going to enjoy them.  I talked to my kiddos in a calm manner when telling them to get their pj's on rather then my hurried, strict tone I usually give.  I stopped and looked at whatever Hadley was super excited to show me rather then telling her it is time for bed, put it away.  I stopped and tickled Landry's feet when helping him with his pj's rather then getting frustrated that he wouldn't sit still.  I laid on Hadley's bed with them and let them watch one cartoon on Hadley's kindle rather then worrying that it was past their bedtime and they would be grumpy in the morning.  I also after lights were out, read Landry his favorite book Mama Lama Red Pajama instead of telling him it is night night time.   Truth is, I just enjoyed them.  I am always so exhausted when it comes to bedtime, grumpy, and stressed because I always have papers to grade, lesson plans to write, studying to do, dishes to wash, clothes to fold, lunches to pack, on and on, the list is endless, so I hurry the bedtime routine.  I find myself wishing this time would hurry up and that they would just be like robots by getting themselves bathed, dressed, teeth brushed, in bed, say good night, and close their eyes - all in oh, 10 minutes! It is absolutely a ridiculous expectation, and really sad that I am wishing away one of the most joyous times of the day.
As always, when I leave church on Sunday's I often am convicted of what I heard.  The current series, which I have mentioned before has been Enough - it has been awesome.  Gratefulness was the main idea touched on today and I thought, sweet, that is why I write my blog everyday.  However, it doesn't stop at my blog and what I write on a daily basis of what I am thankful for, I need to put it into action, showing kindness, be more giving to others.  While I could write on and on about what has been stirring in my heart, I will end with this for tonight;  I need to give more to my children. I am not talking about "stuff" I am talking about me, there mom.  They need to have my full attention, not a mom who is stressed out all the time, who is tired and grumpy, impatient, they need me their mom who is bleeding joy because I am with my children.  They need that unconditional love and grace when they mess up, not a mom who yells and expects them to be robots.  My kids need to have me laugh and be relaxed with them, and not so schedule driven.  They simply need to see Jesus in their mom, I confess that they haven't.  So for tonight, I am so thankful that I decided to simply enjoy them, love on them, relax with them, REALLY pay attention to them, - it was amazing and pure joy!  Thank you God for this reminder and I pray I can do this more and more.
We also had some fun taking pictures!

Day 163...Seeing the Positive

While I have literally spent a lot of my time studying history, being away from my family, being stressed out and worried, I still can see some joyful things. I am thankful for the knowledge I am gaining in history.  While my head hurts from trying to know every single aspect of world and American history, I'm retaining some of it. :) It seems over this time of studying I was starting to not like history so much, and I've always enjoyed it before, well the American history anyways.  Today I decided as it is the 6th hour that I've been studying today, I really am enjoying some of what I'm reading.  I am thankful I am starting to look through the thankful lens of this daunting task rather then being angry about this journey.  I am thankful to have such a supportive husband to help me achieve this goal of passing this test!  I can do this!

My view/office today!