Day 247 - Thunderstorms

As I sit by the big window studying with the flash of lightning and rolls of thunder, and the sound of rain hitting, it has me reflecting on the storms of my life currently.  Thunderstorms can came up suddenly, hit, and leave, while others stay and linger.   Same goes with storms  in life.   One moment things seem okay and the next a big storm hits and it knocks the air literally right out of my lungs.  As you know I have been praying this prayer, "Stay with me Jesus" the past week or so, and it still continues to be a struggle to pray.  Currently I feel the biggest storms are my health and this dang stupid test.  I hate that both of these things control every aspect of my life, I can only do so much to control parts, and it scares the living crap out of me.  The times when I should be praying those words, I instead start to lose my breath, I feel hot, shaky, and extremely frightened.  When will I ever be able to just pray those simple words?  Will I ever be able to? Will this extreme blanket of anxiety ever be ripped apart and tossed away? I really dislike storms at night, you cant see them, you don't know the damage they may bring.  It again is like life storms, you never know when they come or how hard they will hit, or what they may damage.  However, the sun always rises the next day.  Thankfully it does in life too, maybe not the very next day, but it does.  I am thankful that during the storms of life whether I pray that prayer or not Jesus is still with me and while He is with me the sun will always come out.