Day 192...Heavy Hearted Day

Remembering someone that you lost is never a light hearted thing.  Today sort of felt like this cloud looming over my head.  I was very busy all day and my day began at 1:30 am when little man woke up, then after he went back to sleep, I couldn't. My mind would not stop thinking about my mom, wondering how I could honor her today, wishing I could go to her grave.  I of course went to school, which is always insanely busy, not allowing much time to reflect or think.  After work it is always a zoo with coming home, homework, cleaning, dinner, and tonight Hadley had youth group and we had Ash Wednesday service at church.  It has been constant all day.  There is just an ache in my heart that longs to see my mom and to hear her voice, but I know that won't happen until I see her in heaven.  Today I am thankful that I am able to think about my mom.  I am thankful that my husband is one of the most thoughtful people in this world - he sent me beautiful white roses to school to let me know he was thinking of me on this hard day.  I am thankful that I get to be a mother to Hadley and Landry on this earth, and a mother to Honor someday in heaven.