I began this journey of thankfulness/finding joy 150 days ago and as I have always said, it has changed my life. I really hadn't stopped and thought if other's have noticed this change in me. I am not talking about "oh look at me, I am all of the sudden thankful and happy all of the time." I am speaking of others noticing a difference in my responses to everyday life, both when things are going "well" and when things are "not so well." Can the people I interact with notice a difference in me from 150 days ago? What about people who don't know me, when they see me out, or perhaps everyday at work but don't know me, can they see joy in me? I am thankful for the sermon given by Paul today. The sermon series is called Enough...today the three points were Gratefulness, Simplicity, and Generosity. What struck me was that question he asked in regards to gratefulness - "Are you really grateful for what you have? Can others see that you are grateful?" (This was a question written down to discuss with someone this week, but I think he also asked this. this morning).
I often feel like I may walk around with a solemn look on my face, mostly when I am in a place where I do not know anyone, large crowds, etc. This comes from a lack of confidence, worrying about what others may think of me, it's wrong I know, a struggle I am trying to overcome. Since I am obviously unable to see my expression on my own face, I would hope that others would see that I earnestly seek a life of joy and thankfulness. If I don't, that needs to change. I often look at other people and see smiles, all the time, I know that is not me. I wonder if those people actually have joy, or if it's a masquerade, like what I often do. While I am intentionally being thankful daily, I still very much struggle with worry and anxiety, some days more than others. I pray/hope that as I continue seeking joy and being thankful for everything, the big, the little things each and every day, that this joy will erase my worry and turn it into complete surrender to God. I pray that I can immediately turn off the negative thoughts into prayer asking God to replace my worry with peace and joy.
So today I am thankful that God uses people and today it was our pastor to challenge me and think about how others view my thankfulness and joy. I am thankful that I have intentionally and faithfully kept up my daily blog of being thankful for 150 days and how it has changed my life. I am thankful for a God who never gives up on me, ever. He is oh so incredibly good!
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