Day 251- This Time Next Week

I will be so happy this time next weekend.  I have on more week of studying like crazy and praying I won't have to do it again. What a long long journey it has been, while I am believing that I am going to kick some - - - on this test, I can't help but worry that I may not pass it again.  However, right now, I am believing and praying I can do this.  Thankful for everyone who has helped me study, whether it be by helping me complete my homework, quizzing me, encouraging me, praying for me, and taking care of my kiddos so I could attend class and study.  Thankful that I have made it this far without going too crazy, but very thankful that I hopefully will be able to breathe deeper this time next week.  

Day 250- Driving

I think it's the country girl in me that finds driving on back roads with the windows rolled down and country music turned up so enjoyable.  On my way to study tonight I decided to take a little drive down a road I've never taken.  It was beautiful. The trees are blooming, there are old barns, one lane bridges, and open fields.  A fine masterpiece of nature art.  I felt as if I could take a deep breath and take a moment to just breathe.  Thankful for these times to clear my head.  Thankful for fresh air.  Thankful for country music. Thankful for God's creation that we can enjoy.  

Here are some pictures that brightened my stressful day.  My son asked me to take pictures with him and so of course I did and it was such a precious moment with him.  He hugged me as if he never wanted to let go; what a wonderful feeling.  Thankful for moments when a hug can make you feel like you are the only person in the world that matters.  Thankful for pictures that captured my drive today.

Day 249 - Cheesy Grins

Picking up my little man today was priceless. He was full of cheesy grins from the moment he saw me, in the backseat while driving home, and while we were eating dinner.  I love that my kids get a smile on their faces when they see me.  It is an incredible feeling when your kids or anyone, really, smiles when they see you.  I am thankful for those cheesy grins.  They get me through the stresses of life.

Day 248- Words of Affirmation

Words of affirmation are good for the soul.  When someone goes out of their way to tell you something they appreciate about you, how nice you look, how special you are to them, etc., it can just really make someone's face and heart light up.  Today was one of those days for me.  I had a student come up and give me a hug and a bracelet she made me and she said , " I love you Mrs.Lynch!" This made my morning.  I had friends leave me messages today just saying they missed and loved me and were thinking about me, along with a voicemail from a dear friend.  I am so thankful for those people in my life who go out if their way just to tell or write me those things.  Even though we know that our family and friends care about us, there is just something incredibly special and meaningful when you hear those words spoken directly to you .  Thankful for hearing those words today, I needed it.  I only hope I can be better at speaking or writing words of affirmation to others.

Day 247 - Thunderstorms

As I sit by the big window studying with the flash of lightning and rolls of thunder, and the sound of rain hitting, it has me reflecting on the storms of my life currently.  Thunderstorms can came up suddenly, hit, and leave, while others stay and linger.   Same goes with storms  in life.   One moment things seem okay and the next a big storm hits and it knocks the air literally right out of my lungs.  As you know I have been praying this prayer, "Stay with me Jesus" the past week or so, and it still continues to be a struggle to pray.  Currently I feel the biggest storms are my health and this dang stupid test.  I hate that both of these things control every aspect of my life, I can only do so much to control parts, and it scares the living crap out of me.  The times when I should be praying those words, I instead start to lose my breath, I feel hot, shaky, and extremely frightened.  When will I ever be able to just pray those simple words?  Will I ever be able to? Will this extreme blanket of anxiety ever be ripped apart and tossed away? I really dislike storms at night, you cant see them, you don't know the damage they may bring.  It again is like life storms, you never know when they come or how hard they will hit, or what they may damage.  However, the sun always rises the next day.  Thankfully it does in life too, maybe not the very next day, but it does.  I am thankful that during the storms of life whether I pray that prayer or not Jesus is still with me and while He is with me the sun will always come out.

Day 246 - Take My Life (And Let It Be)

As I sit here trying to take deep breaths, to breathe, to not let anxiousness over take my thoughts, I am listening to this song we sang at church yesterday.  The chorus mostly,
Here am I, all of me
Take my life, it's all for Thee
I keep going back to listen over and over.  It has a beautiful sound with a pretty girls echo on it, I love to hear and to sing it.  I am not sure why this particular song has come to me tonight as I lay and worry about things, but it brings me comfort.  I tried to post the link so anyone that wanted to could click and listen, but I couldn't get it to work.  I highly recommend going to you tube and putting in Chris Tomlin's Take My Life, insanely beautiful.  Thankful that music can bring comfort, thankful I have this prayer to pray - "Stay with me Jesus."

Take My Life (And Let It Be)
VERSE1:
Take my life and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee
Take my moments and my days
Let them flow in ceaseless praise
Take my hands and let them move
At the impulse of Thy love
Take my feet and let them be
Swift and beautiful for Thee
VERSE2:
Take my voice and let me sing always, only for my King
Take my lips and let them be filled with messages from Thee
Take my silver and my gold not a mite would I withhold
Take my intellect and use every power as You choose
CHORUS:
Here am I, all of me
Take my life, it's all for Thee
VERSE3:
Take my will and make it Thine it shall be no longer mine
Take my heart it is Thine own it shall be Thy royal throne
Take my love, my Lord I pour at Your feet its treasure store
Take myself and I will be ever, only, all for Thee

Day 245 - Beautiful

Today was beautiful in so many ways.  Hearing my sweet boys voice, "Morning Mommy" despite it being 6am on a Sunday.  Church was beautiful.  We were able to hear college students who attended Central and were graduating.  One of the things they shared was how Central impacted them.  The things they said were so encouraging about what this church is about = loving people, the community, sharing the gospel, and having community and real relationships within the church.  The songs were sang today- beautiful.
On my way to study, I decided to take a short drive at Strouds Run which is a beautiful lake with hiking trails, it was just about a 15 min. drive, but with the windows down and music playing, it was beautiful to capture the trees blooming.  My day of studying was beautiful as I sat outside feeling the cool breeze and looking out at the green grass, flowers, and saying hi to a few people I knew as they walked passed.  And this may sound odd, but I feel like I am starting to feel prepared for this test as I went through what seemed like hundreds of questions today (pretty close), it felt beautiful.
When I walked into my messy home with a sink full of dishes, the dining room table cluttered, and muddy paw prints all over the floor, my first reaction was that tightening in my chest of panic, but I quickly took deep breaths and calmed myself.  I reminded myself that life is absolutely insane at the moment, and my first priority is to pass this dang test.  I then decided to tackle about five loads of clean laundry that needed folded, and managed to wash a few loads, even though those will likely lay in baskets or stay in the dryer until I get a second to fold them, it's okay.  All of these things are beautiful as well; it means we have clothes to wear, a house to live in, dogs to love and love us, and food to eat off of those dishes.  Every second of today was beautiful.  During the moments of stress, uncertainty I had today I tried to pray, "Stay with me Jesus in my mess."