Finding Thankfulness on the Rough Days...Day 6

Days like today are the true test of being grateful and experiencing joy.  Today's been a tough one, but there are still many things that I am thankful for, I just had to look a bit harder.

1.  Hugs from my children - It is pretty neat that both of my children starting when Hadley was close to 2 and then Landry starting this as well, that when they see Josh and I hug they come over, stand between us and hold their arms up for us to pick them up and be apart of our hug as well. It melts my heart every time. Landry did that today when we hugged on the steps.  He gets this big grin across his face and will shake real hard and squeeze our necks tight and often always plants a big kiss on both of our cheeks! Love it!

2.  Coffee shops - I have a favorite coffee shop here in Athens - Donkey Coffee, it had become my second home while working on my Master's the past few years and it's usually where Josh and I end up on our dates.  It has such a comfortable vibe too it one that meets many different needs.  They have couches, comfy chairs, tables, board games, covered porch with tables/chairs, as well as outside seating.  It's a great place to study, hang out, and listen to music on the nights they have it.  I went there today to do some work and sat outside.  It was another beautiful day, nice breeze, not hot, and I loved sipping on my favorite drink - Vanilla Chai.  There is just something about drinking coffee, especially at a coffee shop.

I am bummed I forgot to take pictures today, but the one I posted explains my #1 reason of being thankful today.

Thankful to find joyful things on rough days!

Heres a picture that demonstrates the "hugs" Hadley started when mommy/daddy would hug she is 2 yrs. old  - June 2008

Glorious Day

I wish I could really put into words truly how just seeking joy in the areas that I am thankful for have already impacted me!  Today was an awesome day, friends, no family of ours asked us to venture to The Wild's with them today.  For those of you who are not from Ohio, The Wild's is a beautiful place that Jack Hannah has with animals such as giraffes, rhinos, etc. freely roam hundred's of acres.  You can ride an open air or enclosed bus for 2 1/2 hrs to see all of these animals. It was really incredible, some of the animals came right up to the bus, and the expressions on my children's faces were priceless!

These awesome people who are truly our family, as Landry calls them; Mr. Bill, Miss Ro Ro, and Miss Ra Ra, although now he can plainly say, Miss Cara had taken our kids to The Wild's just shy of a month ago while Josh and I were in Florida.  The neat thing was even though they were just a short time ago, their reactions seemed as it if was the first time seeing these animals!  I took a lot of pictures which you will see at the end.

There are so many things I am thankful for today and even though I'lm writing briefly about them, perhaps the pictures I will attach will be able to convey more of my gratefulness.

1. God's impeccable creation - As soon as you get off the exit to The Wild's, the beauty of rolling green hills and pastures, farm land, and back roads instantaneously appear.  Today happened to be a  gorgeous summer day, low 80's no humidity, bright sun, simply amazing.  As you get closer to the place, you are just surrounded by more hills and astounding views.  As we were on our tour I couldn't help but just think about God constantly.  The creativity He has not only in how green and lush the grass was or how beautiful the blue sky was, but also in how each animal looks different, and how each part of an animal has a purpose.  God didn't just throw together animals just because, He had a purpose.  I could've literally just sat on top of one of the many hills and stared out in the views all day.  I also couldn't help but think of how beautiful this place would be in the different seasons and how different each season would look.   There is just something about being in nature that brings a different closeness to our Creator.

2.  Ending the week spending time with people we love - People outside of your family who become your family is very rare, and thankfully, when our little guy was born, God brought this family into our lives.  I love how they have loved our kids as if they were their own, they make time to spend time with us, and we enjoy being together.  It was a fun day starting off early eating breakfast together, and then cramming all 7 of us into our highlander which says seats 7 but I think the car makers mean 7 children.  It made for some great laughs and real bonding time. :) 

3.  My daughter's sense of humor.  She seriously is a funny girl and she loves to make other's laugh. Sadly, sometimes I am so caught up in the busyness of life that I tend to not pay attention to when she is making me laugh, but today I didnt. I made the conscious effort to not have a schedule and just enjoy being with my kids.  So as you will see in the pictures, there is a picture of her and I in the bathroom and a picture of a toilet.  I was taking her to the bathroom when she said wouldnt it be funny to take a picture of this toilet? Then send it to daddy's phone? Normally I would say, let's go, hurry, that is silly and move on. But today I said that would be funny and I took out my phone, snapped a photo of the toilet and then took a picture of Hadley and I so we can remember this moment. I'll never forget her laugh, her look of I can't believe my mommy actually did this and how funny she thought it was to send this to her daddy's phone.

4.  My sleeping son who NEVER falls asleep in the car or anywhere away from his bed - This kid has been waking up before the sun rise for the past few weeks and not taking naps, so he's been completely worn out.  Today after our adventure, you could tell he wanted to sleep in the car but was just too excited.  So we went into the restaurant and as he was taking bites of his food his eyes would start to close, then ever so gently he laid his head back on his chair, food in hand, and he was out for the next few hours.  He was moved from his chair to cuddle up with his Miss Ro Ro, then carried out to the car, and he didn't even move, pretty stinkin' precious!  And to top it off, when I put him to bed a few hours later, no screaming, crying, he went right to sleep.  Also during the past few weeks if I put him to bed he started this crying, screaming fits for what seemed like hours..so tonight was a success!

So thankful for this day, spending it with people I love, spending it in God's beautiful creation.

Looking at the mommy/baby rhino

Our bathroom pose - you can see the laughter of joy in Hadley's face- love

The famous toilet that brought tons of laughter and probably had the other people think we were crazy!

There are just some moments you wish you could pause

Final Friday...Day 4

Today was my "last" friday before I begin working full time.  I am very excited that it is and that I will be doing what I love to do, which is teaching.
This week has been both exhausting, challenging, yet insightful and enjoyable all at the same time.  Both of my kids have had a  hard time adjusting to getting back into school, and as you read yesterday, Landry's first time ever going to a school.  There have been many, many tears from my children's meltdowns and a few shed from this momma as well.  However, despite all of these challenges, God provided me with so many opportunities to spend some much needed time with my girl friends. The awesome thing was it wasn't just through texting/phone calls but a few of which I was able to hang out in person! Score!!! That doesnt happen often; sadly due to the busyness of life, children, distance, work, etc.  It has been neat to reflect how God has used each friend I talked to this week to help me achieve this thing called JOY...

Thankful today for..

1.  Coffee and chatting with Brittany.  I decided to hit up a few yard sales after dropping Landry off and ended up picking up a few baby things for Brittany which is always so fun and she asked if I'd drop by.  It was a great few hours of just hanging out. One thing that I love about Brit is that when you walk into her house you immediatley feel like your home.  She can go about her things she has to do whether it's cooking, cleaning, laundry, feeding her baby, etc. and we still just talk.  I love that she doesnt feel like she has to make her house look like a magazine cover in order for someone to come over.  It was also so awesome to hold her baby and have her fall asleep on me too. Precious!

2.  Evening walks - My absolute favorite time of the day is around sunset.  There is a slight coolness in the air, the sun is not blazing hot, and everything just seems peaceful.  The whole fam including our puppy Myrtle went for a walk.  The start of our walk was interesting with Landry refusing to walk and crying, but it ended up being a peaceful one.  One of the things I like when we walk are talking with neighbors in our neighborhood that we dont usually see/talk to.  Tonight we talked with a family for awhile and all because we both had dogs and I had this student in the class I interned for last year.  On our walk home my favorite scenery was Hadley riding her scooter and Landry on Josh's shoulders.  So glad I took a picture as you will see below!

3.  Talks with my hubby - Moments alone with my hubby are very rare these days.  I am glad we are back on a routine and the kids are getting to bed earlier so that it is easier to make time.  It seems even after the kids are in bed, the hubs has to go back to work, or I am doing things I didnt get done during the day.  However, tonight we actually got to hang out and just talk.  I am so blessed to have the husband that I have, he is amazing, loving, and so dedicated to our family.  I love how he is so involved in my and the kids lives, as I always say, he's a rock star!

God is good and I am blessed with so many things!

A Glimpse of Relief...Day 3 of Gratefulness

It is amazing how quickly something can squelch joy and thankfulness.  There has been quite a few changes this week with not only Hadley going back to school, but my little one going to pre-school at just 2 1/2 yrs. old.  He has been potty trained since last Spring and as all kids, has accidents here and there.  Hadley attended a wonderful pre-school and we wanted Landry to go there as well which is why we started potty training early.  I start my new teaching job next week (extremely thankful) and all was in place as far as childcare goes, Hadley in school, Landry in pre-school.

So, this is a huge transition for Landry, he's been away from me, but only with another babysitter either at my house or theirs, and with only a few other children.  He has never been exposed to a structured -classroom setting.  So starting this week has left him uneasy not to mention very grumpy in the evenings due to being very tired since he is not sleeping during naptime.  This uneasiness has also led him to regress a bit in his potty training, with having a few accidents everyday so far this week.  The director informed me this morning that I should look into a backup plan incase Landry continues to have accidents.  That was my joy squelcher today, yes, I know it's not a life threatening, major thing, etc.  However, if anyone knows me just the slightest, I am a planner, I like to have things organized and ready to go and when things get out of whack, it steals my joy and stress seeps in.  I left his pre-school nearly in tears wondering what in the world will we do,  why is he having accidents, God can I please catch a break?!  

I immediately came home and started searching for other potential places, I asked some close friends to pray, and yep, I stressed, and fretted about what will happen if he cant go there anymore.  I start my new job next week, he has to have somewhere to go!!!  But....in between the stress, the searching, I was able to pray a continuous conversation with God throughout the day asking Him to help Landry, if this is the place for him let him  have an accident free day, help me figure out what to do.  I knew I needed to find the joy and thankfulness of my day despite this hiccup.  Here are the things I am thankful for today:

1. I was able to still pray throughout my stress/freak out moments. Some of you may be like, um, shouldn't you already be doing that? Well yes, of course, isn't that everyones wishes, isnt that every person who has a relationship with God strive to have a never ending convo with God on a daily basis?  But remember, we are imperfect, I am most certainly not strong in this area, so yes, I am thankful that I was able to talk to God, because I usually just freak out and not pray!

2.  Landry had an ACCIDENT FREE DAY!!! Thank you Jesus!!! I can't tell you the relief I felt when I picked him up today and the teacher said he had NO ACCIDENTS!! I picked him up, hugged him tight and told him how proud I was and told him he would get a treat - he asked for a donut! :) So off to our local drive thru donut place we went - and he ate the whole glazed donut! Way to go buddy!!

3.  Walking in the rain - Today I was blessed to hang out with a sweet friend who watched Landry last year while I was interning and her precious baby.  She lives close enough to uptown Athens so we were able to walk up and enjoy lunch today! On our way back, it was starting to cloud up and get dark and we were pretty close to her house when it started raining.  I cant remember the last time I was out in summer rain, and it felt great!  It was refreshing and calming.  In fact, it was sort of a reminder to slow down and enjoy little moments.  Everyone's reaction is usually to run as fast as you can to get out of the rain, and we sort of did as we got closer only so her little baby wouldnt get wet but we also took time to appreciate it and realize how refreshing it was.  Thankful that God uses things like getting caught in the rain to remind us of the little things to appreciate.

Anyone else jotting down things they are thankful for today? I'd love to hear them!

* Another side note, stealing this from Christen as well, but I hope to take a few pictures of my kiddos daily so I can be reminded of how they grow and how precious they are!

Hadley at her 2nd grade open house!

This was taken this past Tuesday, Landry hiding in our puppies cage - I think he was trying to get away from the puppy! 

2nd day of Giving Thanks

Day 2, it's late, I'm exhausted, kids are tired from being the first week of school.  I'll have to admit, knowing that I have to write this tonight, thinking of things that I am thankful for has been a constant on my mind.  Any time something not so great happened, or I was stressed out with my 2 1/2 yr. old crying and refusing to sleep, I would immediately think, but I am thankful for...

1. That I have children who need and want their mommy! Despite the exhaustion that comes when Landry is attached like velcro or when Hadley needs extra mommy time even though she's whining about it, they just need their mommy, they need me.  I am thankful they see me as a place of rest, a place of comfort.

2. Friendship - I know I said this yesterday, but I was blessed to spend the day yesterday with a dear friend that I've known since Kindergarten, Katie.  Katie is really a gem.  I've always loved that she is her own person, not caring what others may think of her and she just has this awesome confidence about her.  Our day consisted of having lunch, window shoppping, sipping coffee, running errands with my kids, and taking a walk.  We had some really great talks, talks that mostly consisted of what God has been doing in her life and me picking her brain on how He has given her such peace in her life.  So thankful we are still friends and hope we are able to see each other more.  Thankful that no matter the distance or time, we never lose that connection of true friendship.

60 Days of Giving Thanks and Seeking Pure Joy

A common topic you may have noticed in my very few blogs I have written is : Joy - Joy is one of my favorite words, favorite feeling, love the meaning and how vital it is in life.  Ironically though...joy is something I struggle with every day.  In the midst of this chaotic life - children, work, school, keeping a home, developing friendships, church, etc. the list can keep going on and on; joy secretly slips away every second of the day.  It frustrates me, in fact it makes me angry that I let little things of the mundane of life steal my joy.  It frustrates me to no end that I know I have a very blessed life that God has given me. I have seriously the most amazing and loving husband who is filled with God's love and His grace, he is an outstanding father to our children.  I have three children, with two I am blessed to know and have on this earth and one that I will know in heaven some day.  We have more then we need, a great house, 2 dogs, clothes, 2 cars, food, jobs, and I wonder; why in the world do I still struggle with finding joy?
I am currently reading an amazing book called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, it is a book about her journey on finding joy, seeking God, and everyday writing down amazing gifts in the midst of life.  It is really something when you are in need of something and God places people and things in your life to help you get there, even if it takes awhile to wipe the blinders from your eyes.  God has placed this book which was given to my by a new and very dear friend in my life, Brittany. I met her in a small group and pretty much clicked instantly.  Right away life's set backs in both her and my life came up and it has been neat to see how God used us to help each other with these crazy events.  In this short time that I have known her, I would say she knows more about me then people I have known most of my life, she is one of very few friends who isnt afraid to be completely honest yet with sweet intentions for the best of my well-being.  I love her immensely and am forever grateful that God has placed her in my life. God places 2 ways right there - her friendship and that book she gave me.
Another person who is significant on my journey is Christen. We met in Virginia and have kept in touch when I  moved away.  We have a lot in common and I love how no matter how long it has been I can call or text her, tell her what is going on and it's like I never moved away.  She is very busy with 2 young children, but always makes time to talk me through things and best of all...praying for me daily.  This leads me up to what my title is all about.  I called Christen yesterday dumping a lot of things on her as she was running errands with her children and it was one of the best calls I've made in a long time. She took nearly an hour of her time to listen and give me some great advice.  There is one advice that really stuck out, writing a daily blog of what I am thankful for; which coincides with the book I'm reading (she had no clue I was reading), went along with everything Brittany has been sharing (she didnt know that), and I have been contemplating doing this as the book One Thousand Gifts talks about. God, I think You're telling me something?!
So today, I am starting my daily blog for 60 days of what I am thankful for.  Christen did this but was a bit more ambitious then me and wrote for 100 days, (which I encourage you to check out her blog as now she is doing 365 days and it has been very inspiring). She said doing this has literally changed her life! So, I am telling everyone as this will keep me accountable, but more importantly, those of you who choose to take this journey along with me, I hope that this will some how inspire you.  I am writing for me, for God, to find this unspeakable joy.  I am not writing to make anyone else happy, I am not going to worry about what anyone else thinks of me. I am going to be real.
My thankfulness for today:
1. Amazing friends - Brittany and Christen that I mentioned above and I have to mention one more - Alicia - friends since birth, our moms were best friends, we have truly done life together. She knew my mom, knew all that Ive endured, she has endured with my mom, she has been my life line through all of it. I believe she is my sister for real.
I'm learning a lot about friendships.  For so long, many of them have been surface relationships, I am a very private person, not wanting to reveal my true self to anyone, except for a very very select few. This past year, I have been reading so many awesome Christian women blogs, books, on what friendships are suppose to look like based on what God has taught us.  Its a long road, I have a long way to go, but thanks to these awesome ladies - Im making some progress. :)
2. Grace - goodness, without God's grace, my life would be even more messy. I dont have to earn it, it's already there.  Grace is another thing I have a long way to learn and grow, but I am thankful that everyday God's grace is there and new, no matter what I did or didnt do.
3. This challenge - Im sure like most new habits, Ill start out strong and
excited  but will eventually want to give up,  However, I am also a very determined person and when I set my mind out to do something, I go to all lengths to do it (just ask my husband, which this trait can also be annoying :) ). I am excited to do this journey and hope you will be blessed by it as well!

3 gifts of thankfullness - my family - I like that this picture isn't perfect. Hadleys looking away and Landry is crying. We aren't perfect - this is real life

Remembering My Mom

March 5, 2013 was the 1 yr anniversary of  my mom passing away. I didn't know quite what to expect, or feel even on this day.  My sweet husband took the day off of work to just be with me, which meant more to me than anything.  I had decided that I wanted to visit her grave, I guess you could say, it was  a way where I felt close to her and something that perhaps would make her feel loved.
Her grave is a little over 2 hrs away, but Josh didn't mind.  After getting my daughter off to school, and taking my son again to the Dr. and then settled in with some of his favorite people (Nanny and Pappaw) we took off.  Before going the cemetery, we were able to meet my dad and my grandparents for lunch.  This was something nice and again, helped to be with family on this particular day. We didn't talk about my mom, but just being together helped.
As we left to go to the cemetery, it of course started raining and it was cold, it added to the weariness of the day.  I wasn't sure what one is suppose to do when you visit people's graves so as I was driving there I was thinking of what should I do, say,or do I say or do anything?
We pulled in and I turned to Josh and asked him," Well,I am not sure what to do? I should've brought her flowers, why didn't I do that?" He ever so sweetly said, "It's okay that you didn't bring flowers, and I don't think there is anythings specific you have to do."
So we both got out in the cold pouring rain, and just stood there looking at her grave. We talked a little about her, but mostly stood there quietly.  I began to think about all the things I have learned from my mom.  The one thing that stood out was her prayers.  She had kept prayer journals for as long as I can remember, and I remember as a young child, sneaking into her room and reading them. I of course know, that is completely wrong but I was a child and curious to what my mom wrote.  She would always write to God, praying, and laying all of her hurts, wants, needs, all of it, no holding back.    
I didn't think too much of it then, but thought I was kind of getting to know my mom a little bit better when I read them.
When she passed away last year, I had found just a few journals that were with her Bible and again, they were all prayers to God.  I thought, wow, God must have been proud of her for completely laying out everything to Him. That is what He wants us to do.
Matthew 11:28 says, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
My mom did just that, ALWAYS.
Due to the unique relationship I had with my mom, I sometimes focus too much on the areas that I wish were different but yesterday as I was looking at her grave, it was as if God was gently telling me, "What special things did you learn from your mom, what can you take away from her life?"  That is what I did.  Thinking back on her prayers, she reminded me of David who wrote many of the Psalms in the Bible and many of those were David pouring his heart out to God. Again, this is what God wants us to do. I thought it was totally a God thing that just this past Sunday, the sermon at church was about God's role and how He is our Father.  A father's role is many things: protector, guides you, plans for you and most importantly has a real relationship with their children.  All of these are how we should see  God because He is our heavenly Father and we need to run to Him with everything.  Our Pastor said it best when he was telling us how to approach God, when we pray it should come out as "Bleh......." spilling our guts, telling Him everything, our hurts, fears, joys, even when we don't have it figured out, He will and does.  The cool thing is, my mom did just that.
I need to be more like her in this area.  I tend to hold things back when I pray to God, which is really silly since He already knows every aspect of my life anyways.
As we left her grave, I had mixed emotions.  I was sad because I truly miss her and wish I could hear her voice and talk to her about many many things.  I felt some peace knowing she isn't hurting anymore, and also a sense of joy after God revealed to me about what I can learn from her.
I still have many many regrets and would give anything to have done things differently when she was still alive.  My heart literally still aches at times when I think about her. I still get angry at things that have happened between us.  It is amazing of how many different waves of emotions, feelings, and things a person has to go through during grief, and that time really doesn't make it any easier.  I know that it will take a very long time to deal with everything, in fact, I may never get it all sorted out.  However, I am glad I have a heavenly Father who absolutely loves me and wants me to come to Him with every emotion and feelings I have.  Thank you mom, for being an example of doing just that. Love and miss you immensely.

This is a picture of my mom and Hadley (3) celebrating my moms birthday in 2009.