What a day, a very long day. Thankful my students finished their testing today. Thankful I was able to play another few hours of basketball with them and obtain another sunburn. The weather has been gorgeous. Tomorrow is a big day. HUGE! Tomorrow from 12-3pm I will be taking one of the most crucial and painful tests that I have taken in my life. My job, my pride, and a few other things, are contigent of me passing this test. I won't lie, I have been anxious and worried all day; especially tonight. After conferences tonight, that horrible sick feeling in my stomach, that heaviness in my chest where I feel like Im grasping for air, came over me. That horrible word - DOUBT started to creep in. "What if I forget everything?" "I still need to go over more questions." "I have worked so hard for this." "What will I do if I lose my job?" Those horrible thoughts that keep churning in my head, over and over. As I drove home tonight with my windows down, songs turned up, and the air blowing in my face watching the beautiful sunset, I tried to pray, tried to replace that doubt with confidence. I was then reminded of the cards I received from very dear friends the past few days, and a surprise phone call from another awesome friend who asked me to stop by to hand me something and to pray with me. There is so much power in encouragement from people who truly believe in you. Power in the words they say, in cards they write, and there is incredible power in people who stop and pray with you out loud. As I have mentioned lately, prayer has been a struggle, and it is awesome when people step in to pray for me and with me. So tonight, while I feel like I should frantically study more, from the advice of friends, I am watching a show, eating some cheese and crackers, and drinking some wine. I truly hope I can wake up feeling like a rock star and will rock this test. Power in encouraging words. Power in believing I can do this.
Beautiful flowes and cards from amazing people in my life
My attempt at relaxing tonight
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