Absolutley hate being under so much stress and anxiety. I have two more days until this awful ridiculous test that I have studied for more then anything else in my entire life. I am.so.over.it. After working from 7:15 am until 8pm and now it is almost 11 pm as I sit here at the coffee shop studying, the gloss over look is starting to set in and I can barely keep my eyes open. I still have so much to look over, then it's back up at 5am, a day of testing for my students, a meeting, and more studying. Thursday is yet another long day with putting at least 12 hours of being at school for conferences, and then I'm off Friday morning for my test. I would be lying if I said I am holding up okay, because I am not. On the outside I smile, I teach, I hug my family, but on the inside I feel like a ton of bricks are sitting on my chest, my heart is racing, and I feel like I'm going to throw up all.the.time. It sucks. I know Ill make it, but it sure feels like hell trying to get through. I hate that I'm struggling with doubt. I hate I'm struggling to pray for myself and this test. I'll pray for anyone else and believe Hes at work, but me, hardly any prayers are said. So I will say for today I am thankful for:
1. My sweet babies who hug on me and miss me so much
2. My amazing friends who are praying for me right now and encouraging me to pass this test, even when I can't.
3. The beautiful trees that are blooming.
4. Beautiful sky as the sun sets.
5. Iced tea
I am trying to pray "Jesus stay with me for the next few days and please don't let me fall."
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