Self worth are such strong and powerful words. Words that can literally make a person feel like they are on top of the world or completely destroy themselves and the ones they love. Self worth I think is a struggle for a lot of people, I know it is for me. Today has been one of those days where I am letting it tear me down. I had a lot of time to let negative thoughts enter my mind today. Thoughts of my mistakes, doubt, failures, worry, my physical appearance, the "what ifs", measuring myself to other moms and people, the list goes on and on. Basing my self worth on those things will not get my anywhere and it will not only destroy me as a person but it will bring down the people closest to me in my life. I realized tonight while I was in the middle of this self destructing mood and sitting on my couch literally in tears feeling as if I am not worth a crap to anyone right now, that I am pushing people that I love away by doing that.
I know that I have done that in the past to others, I hate that, if I could change it I would. But since I am starting over, I have a chance to not let it happen to anyone else in my life. It is hard to remember that my self worth comes only from one person and one person only - God. He created me as it says in Psalm 139:14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
God reminded me of that tonight as I was sitting alone in tears wondering what the heck is wrong with me. Sometimes it takes us falling apart and coming to Him before we actually hear what we need to hear.
He also reminded me again during a phone conversation with a great person He has placed in my life during this mess. Sometimes hearing encouraging words and reassurance from someone who really cares about you is that little nudge to get you out of that dark hole you feel like you are sinking in and can't get out of.
That is what I love about God, you never know how or who He will use to help you in life's messes. This verse from Ephesians has become a favorite of mine. It came to my mind tonight as well; a great reminder that I am worth it because God is able to do so much in me, more than I could ever imagine.
Ephesians 3:20
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.
Thankful for:
1. Scripture that pops in my head exactly when I need it.
2. God putting people in my life when I need them.
3. Courage to write and share my story.
4. God's unconditional love.
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