Unspeakable Joy in the Midst of Worry and Anxiety

Unspeakable joy...words that I long to not only hear but words that I long to actually live by.  Many people confuse the words joy and happiness to be the same thing, but they are not. Happiness is something that is reached by short term achievements, it is not lasting and is often filled by possessions, people, events, careers, etc. you get the picture. Joy...joy is something that is ever lasting, it is not attainable by short term goals, people, careers, or possessions.  Joy is attained by only one person and that is God.  Joy is a life style.     Our church has finished up a series on Rejoicing and today the sermon was taken from Philippians 4:4-7 - a passage that I am pretty familiar with, have heard and read many times, but not until today did it hit me like it did.  I wont attempt to tell you exactly what our pastor said, even if I did, I wouldn't do it near as well but I would like to share a few of the main words that hit me.
Being a Christian and not having joy do not go together. Wow! What?! For those of you who have read my previous posts, you know joy is something I have struggled with. I am still pondering these words as I write this, it's a lot to take in.
This last part was written 10 days ago...I was struggling to write so I left it at that..now fast forward 10 days..
Jan.22, 13
I have had 10 days to ponder those words I stated above - Being a Christian and not having joy do not go together.  I have played that over and over in my head, I have thought things like whoa..man for all of these years maybe I haven't been a real Christian, then God brought me to reality and reminded me of His grace and that always no matter what, He is molding and shaping us. However, I have been missing out on a huge thing that God has been trying to show me all of these years and that is His JOY!
These past 10 days I have been more intentional of seeking joy in my everyday life, and I wont lie it is hard, especially when for me, it's a struggle to keep my head above water sometimes.  I have been intentional about going to God right when I start to feel anxious and stressed, I have put on worship music during the most stressful times of the day such as getting the kids up, fed, and taken to school or the babysitters, fixing dinner, and cleaning - there is seriously something about listening to positive music that can keep seeping joy into ones soul.
I have made an effort to also share with certain people I can trust in my life such as my husband and a few of my good friends where I can say hey, "today I'm struggling, I'm stressed, anxious, please pray for me" or send a quick text and just saying it out loud, knowing I'm being prayed for at that very moment, and that I am not in this alone can make or break me.
I am currently reading a new book which God has most definitely placed in my life at a very very good time and no doubt it's a coincidence, Desperate Hope for the Mom that Needs to Breathe by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson. Holy cow is this book amazing. It is a book written from a normal everyday mom who struggles with finding joy, digging herself out of depression, and trying to find hope in being a great mom and wife of God.  Sarah and her mentor share their letters they wrote back and forth to support each other.  This book also talks about the importance of moms having rich and true friendships, finding a mentor, and being a mentor.  How cool that I found this book after I just wrote about relationships being one of my goals for this year!?
It is amazing to say the least of how God is truly helping me find my joy in Him over this past week or so.  Something that I am not good at is asking for help, and sadly asking for prayer.  One thing that I love about our church is that every Sunday anyone can go up during the last song to receive prayer from someone who has been trained to pray over people.  Every Sunday I am amazed at the boldness of mostly college students but others too that walk up and receive prayer.  I knew that the Sunday the sermon was on Joy that God was telling me to go up and receive prayer. I wont lie, I was shaking, I felt like I was going to throw up, and I even asked my husband if the thought it would be okay to ask for it, not that I needed his permission, but I guess I felt like a failure for even thinking about going up, let alone actually doing it.  His sweet words of encouragement and the squeezing of his hand on mine gave me the courage I needed to walk up there.  I felt  a sense of relief while I was being prayed for and a sense of Joy I guess you could say that hey, I can beat this thing and I can truly experience Joy in my life.
And God has been blessing me with so many instances, reminders, and truths through people, His Word, His songs, my kids, my husband over the past 10 days...I feel like for the first time in my life, I am beginning to experience His real JOY - Hallelujah!
One more thing and I promise I am done with this novel blog. One very good example of experiencing His Joy was tonight in my home. First, I walk in to find my sweet babies on the floor laughing at Oobi - my daughter laying on her stomach with my son sitting on top of her and would randomly bend down and stroke her hair and kiss her head = JOY and 2nd- we just got home from eating out since it was kids eat free at the mexican joint, I had already told my 6yr that when we came home she had to pick up the playroom and she happily responded okay!  Well, we arrived home it's time for a bath and bed and I reminded her that she needed to clean the play room and that she had 10 min. to do so..she started whining, talking back and I started to use my stern voice and then quickly decided..hmm, lets try a different approach and see what happens -  I found "Party in the USA" and "Love Shack" on my phone, grabbed her pink flashlight, threw on her "Jessie" cowgirl hat and began singing and dancing and told her I was putting on a concert for her while she cleaned!! She laughed, danced, and cleaned and we ended it with doing the Cha Cha slide = pure Joy for both her and myself! This will be a memory that I will always remember and hopefully she will too!
A song that has been playing over and over in my head - Joy, Unspeakable Joy - by Chris Tomlin
I pray you all begin experiencing His Joy as well!

New Year, New Goals, and finding God's New Mercies Everyday

It is eight days into the New Year, it seems as a person gets older the faster time seems to go.  A lot of people make New Year's resolutions this time of year, but I like to set goals instead of "resolutions", goals seem more achievable to me I guess.  As my husband and I were driving back from the mountains of West Virginia this past weekend I began making my list of goals for this year.  While I was listing my goals in my head I began thinking what the "criteria" should be.  What I mean by this is that I wanted to make them realistic and meaningful.  Here is the list of my criteria:  1. they had to be attainable, it couldn't be a goal that where I am setting myself up to fail and not reachable 2. they needed to have meaning, there needs to be a valid reason as to why I am setting these goals 3. not a long list, which I guess could go in the criteria of being attainable.
With those thoughts of my goals here is what I came up with:
1. Take better or should I say, take care of myself.  This includes: my physical health - no more soda (only as a treat on occasion), no more artificial sweeteners, cutting down on my caffeine intake, switching our groceries to organic foods (I'll write more on this later), getting more sleep, and walking about everyday even if just for a few minutes, it's amazing what fresh air can do for someone.  my mental/emotional/spiritual health - not just reading my Bible everyday but memorizing more scripture, blogging weekly, and growing more in my prayer life.  Something that has been really hitting me hard that I have been observing/learning at our church is the power of prayer and how I need it like I need to breathe every second of every day.  Our church is soaked and absorbed in prayer and it has humbled me greatly.

2. Graduate this May 2012 with my master's in Middle Childhood Education!!! I am so excited to achieve this goal! I have to write my thesis and pass three licensure tests and I'll be done!

3. Back off my gadgets - Aka - i phone/i-pad during meal time with my family, bedtime with my children, and any special times with my family - I will put these things away.

4. Find a hobby - something that I enjoy doing for me that is separate from being a wife/mom - not sure what this will be yet...

5. Invest and take risks with friendships - getting to know people is something I love but is extremely hard for me to do past the "small talk" stage.  I do not like to be vulnerable, I like to keep my feelings safe.  However, God wants us to be open and develop meaningful relationships, that can not happen if you are not willing to take a risk, and open up.

I think those are the 5 main ones I came up with, although the first one has many in that one, but I feel as if these are all attainable and necessary changes I need to make in my life.  I believe that 2013 will be a better year, even if awful circumstances happen as they did last year, I believe that my faith is much stronger which will in turn mean my reactions to circumstances will be different.  I feel as if I have a lot more to write, for this blog I will end with this, since I struggle with joy, struggle with having enough faith to endure hard times, our pastor at church said this during one of his sermons, it encouraged me so much that I grabbed my i-phone and put it in my post it note app it says, " When life is hard, respond with faith that God is up to something."  I truly believe that and am wanting to live that out.